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In some ways going to court is like going in to an interview situation, only I would say it is far more pressurised and whereas an interview can last for an hour or two your court case can last for many months sometimes years.

Similar to an Interview situation it is wise to dress smartly and present yourself physically in the best possible light.

You have to realise that you are under the spotlight whenever you attend court and the judge and any professionals in court do not know you at all.

Of course, people should not be judged by their appearance at all, but human nature is such that if you look untidy or unkempt, whether you actually are or not doesn’t matter.

What matters, is that people in positions of power in relation to you, will have already formed an opinion about who or what sort of person you are.

Once those opinions have been formed it is not at all easy to dislodge them from them, or for people to change their minds about you.

So, it is really important to dress well and behave in a manner that does not lead people like the judge or the Cafcass Officer to see you as someone who would not be a good role model for your child/ren.

It will be vitally important that you are able to manage your feelings well and not present as though you are a time bomb waiting to go off.

Your ability to control your feelings and manage your frustrations is key because solicitors will often do their best to irritate you and if you are cross examined will do all in their power to show you up in the worst possible light.

They are likely to put you under a substantial amount of pressure and may choose any number of tactics to wind you up, belittle, shame or ridicule you.

What you have to understand is that is what they consider they get paid for i.e. to win their clients case.

They are not particularly concerned whether you or your child are being treated unfairly, that is not something they will waste any sleep over.

So even if you feel as though you are being crucified unfairly, if you want to stand the best chance of being seen in a positive light you are best advised never to rise to the bait and instead to conduct yourself in a consistently dignified and intelligent manner.

This does not mean that you do not defend yourself properly; it means instead that you keep cool which includes your body language and facial expressions and act to counter any accusations with calm and well thought out responses.

“What the heck happened in there? They slaughtered us! They out-negotiated us at every turn! Why did we not see that coming?” “I guess we didn’t plan for that type of negotiation with that type of negotiator”, was the reply.

People engage in negotiations because they seek to maximize an outcome. In that quest, some people lose their focus. They use the same negotiation strategies they’ve used in the past and wonder why they get slaughtered when those strategies are no longer effective. To prevent that from happening to you, note the following.

Positioning:

Environment: Know what the best environment is to conduct your negotiation in. That environment may encompass doing so in writing, or phone, versus in person. There are different dynamics that come into play when negotiating in different environments. Know the environment that will most benefit your style of negotiating compared to the negotiation style of the opposing negotiator.

Perception: Everyone has an image of who the person is that they’re negotiating with. That persona is based in part on what the perceiver knows about the other negotiator; that stems from what the perceiver has seen, heard, and thought of that person in the past.

Project the persona warranted for the negotiation. Take into consideration the negotiation style of the opposing negotiator in your calculation (i.e. hard (I’ll crush you), soft (I’ll go along to get along)). The perception you cast and how you perceive the other negotiator will determine the flow of the negotiation. To prevent being caught off guard, about your perception of the other negotiator and him of you, be adaptable as to the persona you project.

Strategy:

Entity: Know who you’re really dealing with (i.e. what force and sources motivates the other negotiator). Consider how he interprets information and how best to message that information related to the messenger (i.e. your persona). Your message may be received more favorably with one persona based on how that persona is perceived.

Leverage: When assembling strategies, assess how you’ll employ the powers of leverage. Leverage is a tool that can embolden you with positional power (i.e. power you have for a specified time), which can improve your negotiation position. Be cautious of how you use leverage. If you state you’ll engage in an action and don’t follow through, not only will you lose the ability to invoke leverage further in the negotiation, you also run the risk of losing credibility.

End Game:

What’s your end game and how will you know when you’ve entered it? You should develop the answers to those questions during the planning phase of your negotiation. The plan should encompass what might trigger the end game phase of the negotiation, how you might promote it to occur if it’s lagging, and what you might do to terminate the negotiation if you discern that your efforts will not get you there.

By having markers denoting possible exit points from a negotiation, you lessen the possibility of staying engaged longer than what’s necessary; staying engaged longer increases your vulnerability by making unnecessary concessions.

Once you arm yourself with the thoughts mentioned above, you’ll insulate yourself from the brutality that could otherwise occur. That insulation will also be a shield that prevents you from being slaughtered in your negotiations… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Making a successful presentation is one of the most rewarding accomplishments you will ever experience. Picture your audience applauding, cheering, moved by your message, rallying to your cause, purchasing from your catalog, signing the contract, wanting your autograph and rising for a standing ovation.

You witness the power and enthusiasm to make progress. To move forward. To give something of value your audience can take with them. You know that if you sow your message well–you will reap well.

But does a successful presentation happen by accident?

Hardly. It takes plenty of preparation and practice. And when you get good, you will always be considered as someone they will invite to speak again.

Let’s look at seven strategies that make you appear as a seasoned pro whether you’re getting paid to speak or working the rubber chicken circuit:

1) Vocal variety. What people want to hear is your natural voice. Don’t imitate someone else’s voice. That would sound fake. Think of your voice as an instrument playing a beautiful melody. And that melody is tied to your image and personality.

You probably know about varying your rate, pitch and volume. They make up your tone which you can vary from serious to humorous and everything in-between. Your audience will appreciate your ability to avoid sounding monotone.

You can benefit from warming up your vocal cords. What I like to do is sing along with music CDs or practice vocal scale exercises. This gives you your best sounding voice and helps you exercise your breathing. And I try not to eat or drink anything before and during the talk that will irritate my vocal cords. Some cool water is fine with me.

2) Dress to empower. In our modern dress-down casual society, it’s easy to forget about appropriate attire. A lot of presenters choose to blend in with their audience. I have a different take.

If you dress like one of us in the audience, my opinion of you is you’re not an authority figure who has anything of special value to offer. Or what you have to offer isn’t given the same weight as someone who dresses spiffier. A good rule of thumb is to dress one step above your audience.

I remember watching a young motivational speaker giving his presentation one evening. He wasn’t very good as evidenced by extended periods of audience silence. But he was dressed to the nines. He looked sharp on the platform. Even though his speech was lacking–I have a hard time thinking anything negative about him.

3) Natural body language. If you stay behind the lectern, you’re minimizing your ability to engage your audience. It shows you’re not fully comfortable with your listeners. It may appear you’re holding back or hiding something.

Once you get beyond the lectern–use hand, arm, body and facial gestures for emphasis and visual aid. Presenting is not only from your mouth to their ears. It’s a whole-body experience you can use to engage all their senses.

Plant your feet on the platform. Command authority by standing tall and proud. Face your audience, connect with your eyes, and move about naturally. Avoid repeating gestures as this makes you appear robotic. Another way to avoid the stiff, over-rehearsed look is to connect with people, then allow your body to speak.

If you use PowerPoint, stand to the audience’s left side of the screen. That’s the power position for PowerPoint users because westerners read from left to right. If you suddenly want full audience attention on you, black out the screen.

4) Proper room set-up. Most business presentations are given around a conference table with an intimate crowd. Larger audiences will require different layouts and maybe the use of a microphone and sound system. It’s ideal to check how many people plan to attend for audio purposes.

If you’re hosting a business opportunity meeting, it’s a strategic advantage to reserve a smaller room and have people standing to create the appearance that there’s a lot of interest. And it also hints of the urgency to get involved now to avoid missing out.

For an all-day meeting having tables set up is ideal, but will restrict your audience size. And if it’s in your budget, it’s always nicer to offer ice water, tea, coffee and snacks. And tipping the hotel staff in charge can make things run smoothly.

5) Presentation tools. With overhead projectors, PowerPoint, laptops, hybrid combinations, laser pointers and the tried-and-true flip chart–it’s easy to get overly dependent on these tools. Except for the flip chart, if something fails to work, you need a Plan B.

Call for a technical time-out to troubleshoot the problem. Bring or request a back-up laptop. Be aware of who’s in charge of the projector bulbs. Being prepared in advance can save your presentation during technical difficulties.

Remember, you or your team are the star of the show. Your tools aren’t. If it’s possible, get away from using the hi-tech tools. Your audience pays less attention to your message if your tools are also fighting for their attention.

6) Handouts, banners and product display. Handouts are normally passed out before your presentation. Have staff or volunteers distribute them. If you run out and can’t make extra copies, ask for couples or partners to share one. You can also direct people to a webpage to download extra copies.

Banners make a prosperity statement about you, your company or the organization you represent. Foam display boards in the hallways also add to that statement. Attendees are making judgments about you even before you speak your first word.

Products are usually displayed at the back-of-the-room. It’s great eye candy to drape the table with a tablecloth that shouts your name or brand. Don’t clutter the table. Just put out a few products as needed. It’s important that attendees get to see and touch your books, albums and resources.

7) Speech structure. There’s always debate about which is more important: the opening, the body or the close. My opinion is the opening has the greatest drawing power. You have the best chance to connect with your audience here. Failing to do so can create empty seats.

I recently sat at a session and the speaker was not engaging. People methodically began leaving the room. One by one.

I didn’t follow their example. I stayed hoping the body of her speech might be more engaging. But no dice. What I learned was if people don’t stick around after the opening, the body and the close doesn’t even matter.

By getting good at presenting, audiences will want to see you again. A relationship develops that could prove to be mutually rewarding. And opportunities will manifest that will expand your universe.